Monday, May 13, 2013
What No One Ever Tells You About Being A Coloratura
It all started in middle school. I had begun to train my voice in earnest, and I started reading every book and article about singing that I could get my hands on. In my reading I came across the term "coloratura soprano."
Well, what on earth is that?
So I looked it up, and determined that there were three (and ONLY three, mind you) types of sopranos: lyric, dramatic, and coloratura. How exciting! And here I'd thought there were only altos and sopranos. My thirteen-year-old mind decided that lyric sopranos, being the most common type, were kind of like the bronze medalists of the bunch. Dramatic sopranos are rarer, and I liked a good loud noise now and then, but after some trial and error I decided that I was not one. That left only one option: I must be a coloratura. They're the highest voice type, so they must be the best. Everyone wants to be the best. And that settled it; I was a coloratura, world without end, amen.
Whether due to God's sense of humor or to some glimmer of insight granted to my young brain, I turned out to be right. I am a coloratura.
... so, I'm the best. Right?
Maybe not.
What I missed at thirteen was this: an unusual voice is a double-edged sword, and being a coloratura does not make you a musical superhero. I have some unusual (though hardly as rare as I once proudly thought) strengths, but they are accompanied by unusual weaknesses and annoying glitches. So, since I am far better at making lists than writing actual articles, here are 5 things I wish I had known earlier about being a coloratura:
1. All the natural flexibility in the world cannot make up for a lack of technique.
2. Yes, even YOU will hurt yourself if you sing too high for too long.
3. Eventually, you will have to work on your middle range. And it will be a major pain in the butt, and take you three times longer than it should take any reasonable human being.
4. People will tell you that you can't sing the things you want to sing, because your voice isn't big enough. And they will be right.
5. It's really hard to sound sexy when you're coloratura-ing.
.... the end.
Well, what on earth is that?
So I looked it up, and determined that there were three (and ONLY three, mind you) types of sopranos: lyric, dramatic, and coloratura. How exciting! And here I'd thought there were only altos and sopranos. My thirteen-year-old mind decided that lyric sopranos, being the most common type, were kind of like the bronze medalists of the bunch. Dramatic sopranos are rarer, and I liked a good loud noise now and then, but after some trial and error I decided that I was not one. That left only one option: I must be a coloratura. They're the highest voice type, so they must be the best. Everyone wants to be the best. And that settled it; I was a coloratura, world without end, amen.
Whether due to God's sense of humor or to some glimmer of insight granted to my young brain, I turned out to be right. I am a coloratura.
... so, I'm the best. Right?
Maybe not.
What I missed at thirteen was this: an unusual voice is a double-edged sword, and being a coloratura does not make you a musical superhero. I have some unusual (though hardly as rare as I once proudly thought) strengths, but they are accompanied by unusual weaknesses and annoying glitches. So, since I am far better at making lists than writing actual articles, here are 5 things I wish I had known earlier about being a coloratura:
1. All the natural flexibility in the world cannot make up for a lack of technique.
2. Yes, even YOU will hurt yourself if you sing too high for too long.
3. Eventually, you will have to work on your middle range. And it will be a major pain in the butt, and take you three times longer than it should take any reasonable human being.
4. People will tell you that you can't sing the things you want to sing, because your voice isn't big enough. And they will be right.
5. It's really hard to sound sexy when you're coloratura-ing.
.... the end.
Monday, January 23, 2012
two more things
I am going to get so skinny this year.
There is a plant on my coffee table with big shiny leaves and buds. The buds are just about ready to open, and from the one that's halfway awake I can see that the flowers are going to be a dainty coral pink.
There is a plant on my coffee table with big shiny leaves and buds. The buds are just about ready to open, and from the one that's halfway awake I can see that the flowers are going to be a dainty coral pink.
New Year, New Life
The contrast between my life at this time last year and my present life startles me sometimes. Here is what happened this year (not in chronological order):
1. Got married
2. Adopted a dog
3. Moved to Knoxville
4. Have my own house
5. Have to CLEAN my own house...
6. Went to a new church
7. Made new friends (but kept the old, too)
8. Became an 8th grade small group leader
9. Learned to cook for two
10. Became very forcibly aware that - surprise! - I have fibromyalgia
11. Went on my first rollercoaster. A SCARY ONE.
And besides all of this, last week I bought, brought home (and up the stairs), and assembled a 5-shelf bookcase all by myself.
I am woman, hear me roar!
... or squeak. Or whatever.
1. Got married
2. Adopted a dog
3. Moved to Knoxville
4. Have my own house
5. Have to CLEAN my own house...
6. Went to a new church
7. Made new friends (but kept the old, too)
8. Became an 8th grade small group leader
9. Learned to cook for two
10. Became very forcibly aware that - surprise! - I have fibromyalgia
11. Went on my first rollercoaster. A SCARY ONE.
And besides all of this, last week I bought, brought home (and up the stairs), and assembled a 5-shelf bookcase all by myself.
I am woman, hear me roar!
... or squeak. Or whatever.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Old Married Woman
Wow. I haven't written ANYTHING since my wedding. I have been intending to resume operations for some time now, but procrastination keeps pouncing on me.
Married life is wonderful. Mike and I have a lovely condo 7 minutes from his new job, and it is the perfect size for the two of us and our small dog. Here is a tour of my house in words:
Our bedroom is on the second floor (or the first floor, if you want to be all European about it), and has a large window that looks out over our backyard. The walls are a soft fawn color, and we have a brown, blue, and cream striped bedspread.
The kitchen is painted celery green with creamy white cabinets. There is a tall, round glass-topped table with four chairs at one end, and the other end is the kitchen proper, with all the usual appliances. We have an owl cookie jar.
... okay, those are actually the only two rooms that are properly finished. But the rest is coming along nicely. We also have a spare room, a nice living room, a half-bathroom downstairs, and a full bathroom upstairs. We have a small - but very pretty - backyard with a blue gate of which I am very fond (Mike built and painted it). I am anxiously awaiting planting season, because that yard is going to be a a veritable paradise by the time I'm done with it!
Anyway, that's my house :) I like it.
Married life is wonderful. Mike and I have a lovely condo 7 minutes from his new job, and it is the perfect size for the two of us and our small dog. Here is a tour of my house in words:
Our bedroom is on the second floor (or the first floor, if you want to be all European about it), and has a large window that looks out over our backyard. The walls are a soft fawn color, and we have a brown, blue, and cream striped bedspread.
The kitchen is painted celery green with creamy white cabinets. There is a tall, round glass-topped table with four chairs at one end, and the other end is the kitchen proper, with all the usual appliances. We have an owl cookie jar.
... okay, those are actually the only two rooms that are properly finished. But the rest is coming along nicely. We also have a spare room, a nice living room, a half-bathroom downstairs, and a full bathroom upstairs. We have a small - but very pretty - backyard with a blue gate of which I am very fond (Mike built and painted it). I am anxiously awaiting planting season, because that yard is going to be a a veritable paradise by the time I'm done with it!
Anyway, that's my house :) I like it.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Oops.
BWAAAAAAAAH! It's been a veritable eternity since I've updated my blog. Oh, my goodness. I don't know what got into me. I apologize to all my thousands of faithful readers who have been waiting with bated breath these last six months (<--- silliness).
Life update: I'm getting married in 11 days, which is kind of weird and amazing and awesome. Also, Mike and I have a dog! His name is William, and he is a small black chihuahua mix with crooked ears. He moans and whines when he gets sleepy. It's hilarious.
... I kind of wish I'd blogged my last job, which was summer daycare - kids are hilarious. I'll have remember to post some of the more ridiculous things that happened.
Oh! And also, I have fibromyalgia. Which really sucks, but it could be so much worse. Fortunately, it looks like my best bet for pain management is living a healthy, active life. So, yeah. That's about it, I guess.
Yep.
Life update: I'm getting married in 11 days, which is kind of weird and amazing and awesome. Also, Mike and I have a dog! His name is William, and he is a small black chihuahua mix with crooked ears. He moans and whines when he gets sleepy. It's hilarious.
... I kind of wish I'd blogged my last job, which was summer daycare - kids are hilarious. I'll have remember to post some of the more ridiculous things that happened.
Oh! And also, I have fibromyalgia. Which really sucks, but it could be so much worse. Fortunately, it looks like my best bet for pain management is living a healthy, active life. So, yeah. That's about it, I guess.
Yep.
Monday, February 21, 2011
midget
When I was in grade school, I was always the shortest one in my class. My nickname, in fact, was "Midget." Naturally, I resented this. But now, though at 5'7" I'm not exactly a giant, I kind of wish I could go back a few inches.
Coffee, as it turns out, does not stunt your growth.
If I had missed 3 of those inches, keeping my current proportions, I would probably be able to fit into my mother's wedding dress without having panels put in. (Probably.) Also, I would be 6 luxurious inches shorter than Mike, and I would be a lot more believable as an ingenue onstage. Plus, my voice would finally match the way I look. People might even, at a stretch, use the words "petite" or "little" to describe me.
Someone needs to invent a shrink-ray.
Coffee, as it turns out, does not stunt your growth.
If I had missed 3 of those inches, keeping my current proportions, I would probably be able to fit into my mother's wedding dress without having panels put in. (Probably.) Also, I would be 6 luxurious inches shorter than Mike, and I would be a lot more believable as an ingenue onstage. Plus, my voice would finally match the way I look. People might even, at a stretch, use the words "petite" or "little" to describe me.
Someone needs to invent a shrink-ray.
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