an update on my fascinating life

Mike is coming down to visit this weekend. Yaaaaaaay! Other than that, there's not much going on...
I'm auditioning for a one-act play this afternoon.
Half of my voice literature had to be swapped out mid-semester because my voice decided to change.
I made a pillowcase with poppies on it.
I've been making notecards with owls and birds on them.
I should be getting ready to go to class right now.

Wicked

Mike recently took me to see the musical Wicked, so I thought I would blog about it.

In lieu of a long, tedious review, I will give you my briefest opinion. I am not a fan of the music; there's just not enough substance for my taste. It's written more for raw belting power than anything else, which is certainly very dramatic, but I don't think it's worth the damage done to the singers' voices and to my attention span. There were a couple of moments when I found the lack of melodic interest a little trying. However, it was very powerfully performed, and I liked seeing a familiar story from another angle. I also loved the set design and the costumes. I enjoyed it very much, and if you have a chance to see it I highly recommend that you do so.

... however, on one point I remain firm: if I hear one more person audition for a show with "Defying Gravity," I may puke.

Even More Ladylike Behavior

12. A lady knows how to behave on a first date. I'm not going to tell you 5 tips and tricks to hook the guy you want and keep him (yes, I do know some of those; no, they have not served me well... just be yourself, okay?). But I will tell you how a lady behaves on a first date.

• Apparel - I don't remember who said this, but my favorite first-date apparel advice is this: don't wear anything your mother couldn't wear. This doesn't mean you have to dress exactly like your mother; it does mean that you're not wearing anything too short, too clingy, too tight, or too low-cut. You know your body type. You know what looks appropriate and what doesn't. A real lady knows flaunting her bosoms isn't going to give off the right message.
• Etiquette - Remember to let him hold the door for you. A way to make this easy for him is, just before you reach the door, to slow your walking pace a tiny bit so that he gets there first. Don't make a big show of it. At dinner, use your manners - don't talk with your mouth full, use your utensils properly, take small bites, don't drink too much... you know the drill.
  
• Conversation - Keep it appropriate, and be genuine.

I'm not a dating guru - I don't know how long you should hold eye contact, or what drink you should order, or when to toss your hair. But I do know that if you behave like a lady, you are far more likely to attract gentlemen than if you behave like a total goober.

back in the saddle again

I was sick for three days, but I felt better toward the end of yesterday, resulting in a MAJOR cleaning binge. I think I will follow that up today with some other industrious activity.

Industrious activities... hmmmm...

I'm drawing a blank. Maybe I should just go cook something.

More on Ladylike Behavior

Help! I'm on a soapbox and I can't get down!


11. A lady controls her temper. There are times when righteous anger is appropriate - the evils and injustices of the world we live in SHOULD make you angry. (After all, Jesus Christ was angry about the profiteers in the temple. He turned over their tables and ran them out.) But there are also times when the best thing you can do is count to three and try to respond calmly.
Maybe your co-worker happens to be the incarnation of your pet peeve list; maybe your man said something thoughtless; maybe you got cut off in traffic. Just take a moment to calm down, and try to respond positively. Ask your co-worker to stop it, or ask your manager to move your desk; explain to your man why you were upset by what he said; bite your tongue and be glad the idiot didn't cause a wreck. Nor is red hair an excuse for temper-tantrums, nor does Irish (or any other stereotypically temper-prone) ancestry entitle one to rip into people. Be slow to anger and quick to forgive. A hot temper doesn't look good on anyone.

SHINY!

I have found a new toy.

http://www.diyideas.com/

If you know me at all, you know I love love love DIY and decorating. I was addicted to this website the minute I saw it.

Blog Addict

I just realized how many posts I've written within the last few days.
I never realized this could get to be such a problem... I always thought I could stop whenever I wanted. It's just one more, right? Or maybe two more. Or three. And before you know it, you're in a downward spiral, ignorant to all desires and impulses except your need to blog. Why is this happening to me???

... hello. My name is Charlotte Danae Andersen, and I am a blogoholic.

Mike

Here are 10 reasons why I love my boyfriend.
(Why, yes, I am sappy enough to write this blog post.)


10. Because he always smells nice.

9. Because he is a hottie.

8. Because he is affectionate and communicative.

7. Because he is an impeccable gentleman and never girly.

6. Because he has the most lovely green eyes.

5. Because he is good at math (this never ceases to impress me; I still have to think about 2+2. It's 3, right?).

4. Because he likes to do interesting things, like traveling, and hiking, and boating, and poking dangerous turtles with a piece of grass, and being outside, and having picnics, and going to the zoo, and lots of things we haven't gotten around to yet.

3. Because he makes me laugh.

2. Because he is kind to children and animals.

1. Because he is himself.

I Lied

... I'm totally writing another post about ladylike behavior.


6. A lady does not allow herself to become inebriated in public. What you do at home is your own business, but there's nothing classy about going out with your friends for the express purpose of getting smashed. (Did I use the word "smashed" correctly? I'm pretty sure I did... but not positive.)

7. A lady does not swear. Yes, I too have fallen out of bed screaming "SH*T!" because I slept too late. And it certainly communicated my feelings at the time. But when you're fully conscious, try to find some alternative interjections (my 6-year-old neighbor's favorite: "oh, corn nuggets!") ; there's nothing edifying about swearing. It sounds uneducated and crass, and there may be children listening. People will judge you. Rise above the occasion, ladies.

8. A lady does not gossip with malicious intent. Ideally, ladies shouldn't gossip at all, but we all know that will never happen. If you must exchange tittle-tattle with your girlfriends, try to keep things gracious and approach the conversation with a positive attitude. Nobody likes a backstabber; you don't want a reputation for sticking your knife into people at every opportunity, nor do you want to be known for blabbing everyone's secrets to the world.
Unfortunately, this includes bad-mouthing your ex-boyfriends. If he was really, really a jerk and broke your heart, feel free to elaborate to your best friend or your mother for a month or two - just don't make a public service announcement about it. Telling the world how awful he is doesn't make you look like a strong, powerful woman. It makes you look bratty (plus, it REALLY scares other men, even the ones who are nice and would never do something like that). Use your discretion, and take the high road.

9. A lady does not smoke. This one's controversial. A lot of women smoked during the 20s - 50s eras because it was considered glamorous and modern. Who doesn't love Lauren Bacall's smoky, sexy alto voice?
But here's the deal - it's NOT glamorous these days, it's tacky. Besides, glamorous does not equal ladylike. So my call on this is: real ladies don't smoke. Have you SEEN what that crap is doing to your insides? It causes lung cancer, emphysema, and scores of other life-threatening-or-debilitating conditions. It also makes you stink, and it yellows your teeth.
If you've never smoked, don't start. If you just started, PLEASE stop now while it's still relatively easy. If you are addicted to cigarettes, I can't help you, but here's somewhere to start:

http://www.cancer.org/Healthy/StayAwayfromTobacco/GuidetoQuittingSmoking/index


10. A lady treats her gentleman with respect. Gentlemen are wonderful human beings (I, for one, am EXTREMELY fond of mine), and they like it when you let them know you appreciate them holding doors and the other gallant things they do.
One way to show appreciation is to refrain from nagging at them, whining at them, putting them down, or yelling at them. Maybe he forgot to take the trash out... for the fifth time... but don't explode at him. Take a deep breath, and then go find him, make physical contact (e.g. a hand on the shoulder) and ask him in a calm, sweet tone of voice to take out the trash. Or you could appeal to his sense of manliness: "Honey, could you please take this out for me? I tried, but it's really heavy." And here's the thing: it's not manipulative. You DO appreciate him. It's just a matter of knowing how to communicate in a way that makes him want to respond. It's all in how you ask.
Also, we aren't the only ones who like compliments. In fact, compliments and positive affirmation are necessary to mental health. So give him compliments from time to time on things he does well - is he great at sports? Does he make the world's best burger? Is he a good writer? Does he sing like an angel? Does he look super-hot in that shirt you like? Tell him! He can't read your mind.

Ladylike Behavior

I've been reading this blog...

http://youareagrownman.com/


... and thus far it has made a very favorable impression. Men should act like men, and someone should tell them how to go about acting like men.

I can hear my female readers nodding their heads and amen-ing. But here's where I'm going to lose some of you: if men should act like men, then women should act like women. And, girls, you know we aren't much better at being ladies than they are at being gentlemen. If you expect the men in your life to open doors, give up their seats, and offer their jackets, then you should return the favor by behaving in a manner that is worthy of their respect.

Before you say it, YES, they should behave like gentlemen regardless of how you behave. You don't OWE them ladylike behavior; similarly, they don't OWE you gentlemanly behavior. Etiquette is like unto a random act of kindness - it's your gift to society, an offering with no expectations of a reward or public recognition.

Here is a quick overview of some ladylike practices that should be observed... I'd like to promise a more in-depth look at some of them later, but you and I both know I can't stick to a topic for any extended period of time.

1. A lady observes the rules of etiquette that apply to all genders and situations: writing thank-you notes, not burping in public (yes, you CAN help it)... you get the picture.

2. A lady does not wear excessive makeup, nor does she dress immodestly.
Don't get me wrong - I love playing with makeup, I love wearing makeup, and I love trying new kinds of makeup. My general rule of thumb is to take a good, impartial, critical look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what people are going to notice first - your makeup, or your face? Makeup is an enhancement, not a mask.
Modesty is very subjective, and very individual - an outfit that looks cute on your best friend might look slutty on you. Wear clothes that fit, and keep things classy. Rule of thumb: if you wouldn't want your parents to see what you're wearing, it's entirely inappropriate.

3. A lady says "thank you" when a gentleman does something gallant (e.g. opening a door, offering his jacket, etc.) - if you want men to treat you like a lady, you should give positive reenforcement/feedback when they exhibit gentlemanly behavior. How else will they know when they get it right?

4. A lady does not treat men as though they are inferior. How would you feel if a man said women were dumb, or awkward, or jerks, or disposable, or only thought about sex? Yeah. Guys don't like it when you say it about them, either. Men are no more inferior to women than we are to them; treat them how you want to be treated. (With courtesy, I mean... DON'T treat them like ladies. They generally take offense to that.)

5. A lady does not use PMS as an excuse for bad behavior. Yes, you feel awful. No, it's not fair that men don't have to menstruate. Is this an excuse to scream at your friends, pick a fight with your man, or scowl at everyone you see on your way to work? Nooooo. It's not easy and you will not always succeed, but try to be pleasant, even though you feel like your uterus is trying to kill you.

... that's all I've got at the moment.

Cookies

I love cookies so much.

I am writing this post to justify (to myself) the fact that I just devoured 4 cookies in under a minute. Maybe if I write about it, it counts as research!

... nope. Still gluttony.

Correct Use of the Word "Ethnic"

"Ethnic: of or relating to large groups of people classed according to common racial, national, tribal, religious, linguistic, or cultural origin or background."

This is not a rant against racism. Racism is vile, and nothing raises my blood pressure faster, but if I start out writing a blog about it I'll end up writing a book. Rather, this is about grammar.

Allow me to address the misuse of the word "ethnic."

In high school, I was once asked if I was half black. I believe I gave the eloquent response "noooo...?" My coworker's next comment was "Oh. You look ethnic." I don't remember what I said next, or if I said anything, but my immediate reaction today is "Thanks! So do you!"

Here's the thing: you belong to an ethnic group. Your ancestors belonged to an ethnic group - if you're like me, your ancestors belonged to a LOT of ethnic groups. When most people say "ethnic," what they usually mean is:

"Exotic: introduced from another country : not native to the place where found."

I blame the fashion industry for perpetuation of this grammatical faux pas, but that's another story.

... so, yes, I DO look exotic to a lot of people, especially in the Bemis area (Bemis is pronounced "BAY-mis," for those of you who don't know), which is populated mostly with people of English, Irish, or Scottish descent. I can trace my ancestry back to those places, too, but I'm also very Norwegian and Swedish, with some French, Cherokee, and Choctaw, with just a touch of je-ne-sais-quois to keep things interesting. Exoticism is relative; I may look exotic here, but blond hair and blue eyes are exotic in a lot of other places.

You may not care about my ancestry, but what I'm getting at is that, yes, I look ethnic. I probably inherited charicteristics from a lot of ethnicities. And everyone else in the world looks ethnic, whether they're alabaster-pale with blue eyes, coffee brown with brown eyes, red-haired with green eyes, inky black with black eyes, or any other possible color combination. And any facial structure, and any height, and any build. You are ethnic. Everyone around you is ethnic. We're all different combinations of different ethnicities. And that is a beautiful thing.

It is also the correct way to use the word "ethnic." Consider yourselves informed.