Tuesday, January 18, 2011

marriage advice from my mother

As marriage grows ever nearer, I have received more and more advice - both solicited and unsolicited - on how to have a successful marriage; some of it has been very good, and some of it has been... very interesting, but the best advice I've had was given to me by my mother. I don't remember exactly how she phrased it, but I'll do my best to capture the essence of what she told me.

When you reach the point where you know you're right, and that you can't possibly move forward unless your spouse changes their behaviour, you are the one who is going to have to change.

Not because the husband, as the head of the household, is always right - I'm sure Mike's going to make some dumb mistakes along the way, as will I (though I expect the majority of them will be mine... not because I am a woman, but because I am ME, and dumb mistakes happen to me a lot) - but because marriage is about sacrifice. Just as you must die to yourself daily to be molded to Christ's likeness, both husband and wife must die to themselves and love each other sacrificially to become one flesh before God.

Easy concept? No. That's why the traditional Anglican marriage service says marriage is to be entered into "soberly, and in the fear of God."

... anyway. That's my mini-sermon for the day.

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