Out of Town

... since I have so many dedicated readers who will wonder where I am :P I am leaving for the lake this evening. Yaaaaaaaay!

Vacation or Bust

I am packing for a weeklong trip to the lake with some friends (and my wonderful boyfriend, to whom I shall henceforth refer as "Mad Mike"). Obviously, I'm pretty excited about this.

What I am NOT excited about is packing.

I dislike packing for the following reasons:
1. I can't finish packing my toiletries until the last minute (I mean, hello - toothbrush?), nor can I pack my Bible study stuff until the last available morning, and it upsets me that I can't pack them ahead of time and be done with it. I mean, I COULD pack them early, but then I would be off schedule and my teeth would be grotesque.
2. It makes my room messy.
3. I can never fit everything I want to bring into my suitcase. "Pack light?" What does that mean?

... that being said, I'm sure I'll survive somehow, though Mad Mike will probably make fun of me for packing over 50 pounds of luggage. Quite honestly, I'd make fun of someone who packed that much for a week-long trip, so I don't hold it against him.

Frankie will understand. Probably. Maybe.

Love Never Dies

... and neither does Mr. Webber's talent for absolutely hypnotizing audiences. If you haven't heard the music from Andrew Lloyd Webber's new show "Love Never Dies," you are missing out. You can buy it on iTunes. Just go listen to it. TRUST me.

The Highlight of My Week.

Today I was repeatedly flipped off by an old woman.

Yes, I was.

I was waiting for a gap in traffic, and she pulled up behind me and started blaring her car horn. "Perhaps," I thought, "she just leaned over to retrieve something off of the floor and hit it by accident." Nope. She kept going, and then she threw in the finger. I took the next available space in traffic (which, obviously, I had planned to do anyway), and not only did she follow me, honking and flipping, for two minutes, but she apparently decided I hadn't noticed her yet. So she cut me off, and then proceeded to drive 30 mph, still honking and flipping (and yelling, but I couldn't hear her... which was probably just as well).

So I smiled and gave her a twiddly sort of wave, and cut across three lanes of traffic to an exit she couldn't possibly make in time to follow me.

And then I pulled into a parking lot and laughed until I almost peed myself.

Back By Popular Demand

My best friend Frankie has decided I need to blog more often. So, in lieu of personal motivation, I have given her permission to pester me about it.

... that being said, I can't think of anything meaningful to write. I offer the following words in apology: farkleberry, callipygian, cutty sark.

Blogger's Block

I have been at a loss for things to write for quite some time now. Then I realized: you don't have to have anything interesting to say to write a blog.

Be thee watchful, cyberspace, for inane babble shall be forthcoming.

Top Ten: How to Annoy a Singer

This is not aimed strictly at the non-musicians; on the contrary, fellow singers can be the most annoying concert-goers on the planet. The following list(s) is (are) the result of many years of performance, many years of attending recitals and concerts, and many entertaining stories from my colleagues.


BEFORE THE CONCERT:

5. Go backstage to tell your friend a funny story about a singer who fainted or fell over in the middle of their concert.

4. Go backstage to see what your friend is wearing; be sure to tell him/her that their outfit would have been better in another color or size.

3. Talk about the play you've been studying in Shakespeare class. Be sure to tell your friend "Good luck" before you dash off to find a front row seat.

2. Text your friend to inform them that their parents are not here yet, and you hope nothing tragic has happened.

1. Remark to nearby audience members that you have sung most of the songs on the program. They weren't challenging enough for you, but you're sure your friend will do a great job.




DURING THE CONCERT:

5. Inform your neighbors that you know the soloist. Make sure you speak loudly enough for the rest of the audience to hear you.

4. Rustle your program loudly and unwrap as many pieces of candy as possible.

3. Cheer after every song.

2. Do your homework during the boring songs.

1. Hum along with the songs you know. Don't sing TOO loudly, but make sure the people around you know that you are at least as good a singer as your friend.




AFTER THE CONCERT:

5. Throw flowers onto the stage - be sure to aim for your friend's head so she can see them coming.

4. Thank your neighbor for the use of their pencil, which you borrowed to do your homework.

3. Inform your friend that the recital was lovely, but you couldn't understand any of the words.

2. Tell your friend that he/she should audition for American Idol.

1. Ask your friend why she can't sing more like Miley Cyrus.